Our Story

How do we care for someone who has senile dementia or Alzheimer’s? How do we care for ourselves while caregiving these individuals? I do not have the answer to these questions because I do not believe anyone's experience is the same. Caregivers and their loved ones must face their own battles each day, they are exhausting, draining and often unsupportable for both parties. I do believe, however, that balance and peace is achievable during this extremely emotional struggle!

This is Elda's journey battling with memory loss and living without a sense of self. It began with the awareness and reality that she was no longer remembering, praying every night that she wouldn't completely loose her memory, having very aggressive moments, having very strange compulsive behavior and becoming unbelievable depressed to finally no longer recognizing her family or herself.

Her journey and ours is not the same, and while we can never understand the suffering one goes through while losing their memories, nor can they comprehend the suffering a caretaker endures watching and living it. The challenge of this journey is to discover our own unique paths and to embrace daily trials, tribulations, joy, sorrow and moments filled with laughter in order to find a common ground and keep us together while doing so. We have found a way to embrace every day, to stay healthy and happy even through extremely emotional times without the use of sedatives or pharmaceuticals (by choice). It is not easy! We sing, we dance, we play music, we walk, we plant, we clean, we stay busy all to give Elda a quality of life. To respect the woman who she was and is! Elda is still Elda and while she is limited on her abilities, and they diminish each day we continue to encourage her to do what she can so that Elda always feels useful and needed!

Elda now has her own language which is a mix of English, Italian and invention. Knowing how she feels, if she is sick or in pain, if she needs something is verbally almost impossible. I say almost because she also speaks with her body and still is sometimes able to voice her opinion or needs. This however has not stopped any of us to engage with Elda and hold conversations. It's like speaking to a baby, we don't know what they say, but we talk to them, tell them stories and listen to their responses. Encouraging communication is fundamental! And when we have conversations, read with a loud animated voice, explain TV shows as they are happening, Elda flourishes, she feels a part of, included and that is the point. It makes us happy too because she is a lovable woman, and still wants to share with us the love she has inside.

We live in Elda’s world; she is in command. And while one might think how that helps the caregiver or how does that help her; it helps everyone because when Elda is happy, when Elda is feeling independent the day flows and time can be found for everything and everyone. It is our hopes that this website can help everyone to discover new ways to find this balance and to have a safe place to go to for support.

Elda lived her life, and lived it with dignity. (August 1927-October 2024)

We encourage all caregivers to visit other pages, especially those needing support.

Inspiration/Artwork: Are our sections which deal with emotions and behaviors and how we handle them through reading, art, music and other activities.

Prospective: Our blog is where we will express our own personal difficulties, joys and daily adventures. We would love for you to participate and share your experiences with us and others that may need help.